Charlez Blog

There are lines in a relationship which often become blurry if you are not careful. Many women do questionable things when dating someone new, especially because they are not sure where the line is truly drawn. I have made some poor decisions because of this, and I have also watched a few of my friends get caught up as well. If you aren’t sure what is or isn’t acceptable, you should err on the side of caution and avoid it. These are some situations where you should be careful, and why.
Forming a relationship with his mother
It is always nice to fit in with the family and form bonds with them, but you need to be careful with how close you get to his mother. Having his mom on your side is definitely a plus, but there is a fine line you walk with that. I learned this lesson the hard way, and it affected me getting to know my current mother-in-law. My ex-boyfriend’s mom became like a second mom to me when I was dating her son, and when our relationship went bad, I turned to her. While it was okay in the beginning, it turned out to be a disaster. When I met my husband, I stayed away from his family for nearly 18 months. I was afraid to bond with anyone before I was sure this was going to be my future family.
Sharing your opinions of his family
This is going to happen whether you try to avoid it or not. Unfortunately, if your opinions are not favorable, your man may not be too pleased to hear them. There are automatic assumptions made when you meet someone for the first time. I am guilty of judging someone too harshly when I am introduced to them. There are a few family members on my husband’s side that I am not fond of, and that has caused tension between us in the past. In fact, we got into a heated argument and didn’t speak for several days regarding one of them. I have since learned to keep my mouth shut about my opinions and move on. There is nothing worse than fighting over something you cannot change.
Friending their friends
It is a good idea to have friends in common, especially for double dating and parties. There is a huge difference between having the same friends and becoming “buddy buddy” with people you solely met through him. This could backfire on you in your relationship, especially if the people you are hanging with have questionable intentions. One of my best girlfriends started going to lunch with some of the girls her boyfriend knew. They were close for about three months and then the girls turned on her. They told her guy nasty things about her. He chose his friends in the end, and my “bestie” was heartbroken. There is a thin line between love and hate, and you won’t know you have crossed it until it’s too late.
Relationships have crazy rules sometimes, and you often don’t know where the boundaries truly lie. If you are unsure on what to do or say, avoiding the situation is the best answer.