….it’s
important to maintain perspective and not have an overreaction that
could actual make your personal sex scandal last longer than necessary.
Sex tapes! Do they ever leave the news? Between former Democratic
presidential candidate John Edwards’ trial where his sex tape with
former mistress Rielle Hunter is back with a vengeance, Nicki Minaj sex
tape fan fiction, and the grossness that is the infamous
Octomom spanking it for cash, you’d almost think a sex tape/photo/image
scandal was inevitable for us all. But before you roll your eyes, click
your tongue, and commence to complaining about all
these gosh-darn celebrities with their gosh-darn sex tapes and nuddie
pics, compose yourself and recognize — unless you’re a giant prude like
myself who is CONVINCED taking any suggestive picture will escape into
Google and ruin my life forever — you probably have some sexy picture of
something somewhere that you sent to someone.
No judgments. Maybe you were flirting? Maybe you were simply
documenting your weight gain or loss? Whatever. But no matter the
reason, you too can have a sexy pic/video scandal.
Sure, you won’t end up on
Entertainment Tonight or CNN with
the booby flash you sent the object of your affection while he was
stationed in Afghanistan, but the brilliance and danger of social media
is your one-time flirtation can end up as a permanent record in an
Internet search engine.
So what do you do when your professional peers, school, regional
community, or family circle accidentally gets a hold of what was hot in
hindsight and has become not when posted on someone’s Tumblr?
Here is how you handle the damage control.
1. Denial. Depending on the quality and angle of the
photo, you may be able to just pull a Shaggy and say “It wasn’t
me.” Especially if A) your head isn’t in the shot and B) there are no
identifying marks, items, or unique background that can be tied to you.
And if it can’t be tied to you, go all the way it. Convince yourself
you’re innocent then fight the problem as an innocent person would —
either by laughing it off or threatening the owner of the Tumblr you
will call your lawyers if they don’t take the picture down.
2. Can’t deny ? Own it. OK. So they can really see
your face. That’s rough. But you aren’t going to get anyone’s pity. Even
if you’re getting criticized by hypocrites who have an iPhone full of
their bare bums in various positions. So, determine whether or not that
picture actually makes you look hot. Like, if you look good, you look
good! Why should you be ashamed of looking good? In fact, take a tip
from Rihanna. When a nude cell phone picture surfaced of her, she
responded, “that would be ME … when I was skinny!” It’s not about
accusations and how did this happen, but “do I look good?” If you look
good. Own it!
3. Unless you can’t “own it,” then face it. Most of
us don’t make our livings off of being super attractive. What might be
cool for a singer, fashion model, fitness expert, reality show
contestant, or pro-athlete will not work for you if you’re an elementary
school teacher. In that case, you need to choose this four-pronged
response: Tell your employer what’s going on before it gets to them to
mitigate damage; admit responsibility; apologize profusely or even in
writing or publicly if necessary; and politely contact those posting
your photo/video to take it down, only threatening legal action on those
who are being jerks about it. It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s better
than your job finding out on its own, then sending the photo to everyone
you know at work and to all your future employers.
4. If all else fails, ignore it. Much like
schoolyard bullying, sometimes the best response is a non-response. If
someone asks you about it, you should be all, “So what? Don’t care.” If
they ask if it was you, “Yeah. So what? Don’t care.” If they ask you how
it got out, you’re all, “I don’t know. Don’t care. Why do you care so
much?” In fact, if they actually dare to answer that, then you can turn
it all back on the accuser with some shame, shame, shame: “I would find
it disappointing if you judged me, who I am, and my entire body of work
just on some photo I took for my own personal amusement. If in this day
and age of Craigslist Congressmen and celebrity sex tapes, you can’t
understand how a simple photo from a Blackberry wound up on Facebook,
and how little that has to do with the full measure of a person, I guess
I really didn’t know you at all, Grandma.” Yeah. That’ll tell ‘em.
Also remember, it’s important to maintain perspective and not have an
overreaction that could actual make your personal sex scandal last
longer than necessary. Choose a positive plan of attack and stick with
it. Don’t lose your cool and don’t let them see you sweat … over your
sweaty sex pic.
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