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A Warri Boy’s Letter To President Jonathan On The ASUU Strike
Below is a Warri
boy’s letter to President Jonathan on the ASUU Strike. It is in pidgin
English so get ready for some laugh although the writer makes some good
points. Anyway, we'll let you be the judge.
Oga Presido
First
of all I hail ooo! I no say u no dey cary last. You be confirm ijaw
pikin. As dat ur middle name ‘Ebele’ mean ‘mercy’ so make u pity ur
children settle their lecturers naa!
The matter neva tire u?
Suppose say ur pikin wey u born for belle follow us dey house, shey you
for never answer we lecturers them? Una say make we bone kidnapping,
militant things and all the bad bad things dem go enter school, now na
una com dey f**k up. All the things wε̲γ we lecturers don teash us for
klass we don forget finish. Last last, na una go still call us
“half-baked”, “half-roasted”, abi na “half-fried”. Na una sabi!
Dem
talk say person no fit run pass him shadow. We dey hea dey watch you.
Na ur time be dis use am well, but we go jam for 2015. U don forget say
youths na we dey vote pass abi? Na we sef dey snatch ballot box, dey do
rally and som kain kukere things dem wey una dey take win election. U go
still nid our help o. That time we sef go go strike. Shebi u sabi waka
witout shoe, u go carry ur leg do ur rally. No thug for u. We no go
snatch ballot make you for win. If any maga try am we go fall hin hand.
So
bro Jona, na ur opportunity be dis o make u code this stubborn ASUU
pipu make dem cary their wahala enta class. We no say na rush them go
begin rush us but we no send. All join. Na who get leg dey kuku pass
exam no be who read. Na still who get leg dey get beta work. Na Naija we
dey. So make u do something because our mate dem for private university
don graj finish. We don tire to dey beef them. If u no shake bodi fast
make u no forget say university of militancy still dey admit dey neva
even release 2nd batch ooo!
Abeg try grit maale Patience well well
(i thank baba Godee say she and gran papa Soyinka don settle that their
quarrel), greet all those bad belle advisers wey u get too, God pass
them! Uncle Amaechi still dey Niger-delta here o, hin don tire for ur
mata. I dey grit u for am too.
I go stop for here. E go be na.
Naija student for life!
Na ur waffi boy.
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