Tired of waiting for your dream man? Tired of changing boyfriends like
underwear? Tired of begging God to upgrade you? Tired of waiting for
your boyfriend to propose? Tired of all the heartbreaks and betrayal?
Tired of men chopping you for free? Tire no more… Statistics show that
only 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria are undisturbed
by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to
become Mrs somebody.
And when I say anything, I mean it… Here are 21
unorthodox things ‘classy’ Nigerian women have done in their quest to
bag a husband! Some are bizzare, some are skanky and some are downright
sad…but if you’re willing to try anything and getting a husband is the
only activity left on your bucket list, you might wanna try a few! (Men
beware) #Not for the fainthearted…
1. Snatching a friend or relation’s man: All is fair in love and war!
Rumour has it that women have resorted to locking their phones, hiding
their men and coding their gist from so-called friends cos it’s a jungle
out there…
2. Re-inventing themselves: Pretence is the order of the day. No man
wants to tame the shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an honest
woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package
themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable
packages. After marriage, what you see is what you get!
#stepfordwifemode
3. Trapping him with pregnancy: This used to be the old school method of
getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to seducing the man or
getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had
the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there
was no commitment. Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to
child support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up
their game by involving the parents and you know parents don’t like
scandals…
4. Praying&Fasting:This would presumably be an honourable means of
obtaining a husband but sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities
other than God& other times it becomes a song permanently on repeat…
5. Taking his photograph to Cele church for a prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like a charm…
6. Taking his sperm, hair or personal effects to Baba. Guys disposing of your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea…
7. Outright Jazz! My friends recently gisted me ’bout how a tied up,
live pigeon had been discovered in a friend’s sister-in-law’s box. The
woman confessed to using jazz and said she hadn’t been sure if the guy
would actually propose so she took the necessary precaution…
8. Putting love potion in his food! This is classic and timeless but
shouldn’t it be called a ‘compelling’ potion? Because in this case, love
na by force!
9. Saying YES to a man you despise! A woman has two classes of men
usually on her case. The ‘correct’ guys and the ‘disgos’. The disgos
usually end up as magas or rebounds but many a woman has shocked a
despondent toaster with a sudden ‘Yes’ and men have agreed that truly
there is nothing God cannot do!
10. Proposing to a guy! Yes it does happen… (Who wears the engagement ring?)
11. Toasting a man’s family so they make the decision for him! A friend
complained that a girl he detested had over the months gotten close to
his family. Lavishing on them, cooking for them and basically being
their ‘go-to’ girl and now his mum had put her foot down that he had to
break up with his girlfriend and marry little-miss-went-home-to-mama
depending on how much power the family wields, their word may be final…
12. Asking daddy to get you a husband! If daddy’s a big shot, arranging a
husband for you is usually as easy as pie and some men would sell their
souls for a large chunk of daddy’s money so both parties are happy…
13. Being your man’s maga! Some women believe that when you finally get a
man to be interested in you, spoiling him and overlooking his every
fault would get you into a white gown faster than an okada chased by
LASTMA! Some men don’t mind a woman who houses them, clothes them, feeds
them, gives ‘em pocket money, never gets upset with them even when they
misbehave and cleans up after them with little or no contribution from
them… Living the dream???
14. Giving him unlimited freedom as long as he proposes: “Tell me I’m
number one baby, tell me I’m the future mother of your kids and not
Amina, Bisi or Ngozi!” Women used to wanna be the one AND ONLY in their
man’s life, now being the number one is good enough…
15. Polishing up a low class, barely educated brother in exchange for a
ring! The deal is simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or driver to
night school, you give him language lessons, you take him to buy some
new clothes and deodorant and teach him to call you honey instead of
madam and in exchange, he gets to marry you, share an expensive bedroom
and never worry about his bills ever again!
16. Revamping yourself: Change your ward-robe, lose 20kg, buy a
truckload of brazilian hair, study the karma-sutra, do a vaginoplasty
and change the age on your birth-certificate to read 22. Botox, plastic
surgery, a compulsory gym membership and ‘body magic’ also indicated!
17. Becoming a worker in church! Rumour has it that men go to church to
marry, the same rumour also reveals that ‘Greeters’, ‘Ushers’ and ‘Lead
Soloists’ have the best exposure…praise the Lord!
18. Moving to a new town or part of town so that you are the ‘new girl’.
This always peaks the men’s interest and at the same time you get to
run away from your past and the ‘old maid’ labels! Combine this with
number 16 above and ooh la la!
sophiebaby (27990) Addicted Hero
«19 hrs ago (01:05 PM Sep 6, 2012) »
Tired of waiting for your dream man? Tired of changing boyfriends like
underwear? Tired of begging God to upgrade you? Tired of waiting for
your boyfriend to propose? Tired of all the heartbreaks and betrayal?
Tired of men chopping you for free? Tire no more… Statistics show that
only 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria are undisturbed
by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to
become Mrs somebody.
And when I say anything, I mean it… Here are 21 unorthodox things
‘classy’ Nigerian women have done in their quest to bag a husband! Some
are bizzare, some are skanky and some are downright sad…but if you’re
willing to try anything and getting a husband is the only activity left
on your bucket list, you might wanna try a few! (Men beware) #Not for
the fainthearted…
In no particular order:
1. Snatching a friend or relation’s man: All is fair in love and war!
Rumour has it that women have resorted to locking their phones, hiding
their men and coding their gist from so-called friends cos it’s a jungle
out there…
2. Re-inventing themselves: Pretence is the order of the day. No man
wants to tame the shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an honest
woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package
themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable
packages. After marriage, what you see is what you get!
#stepfordwifemode
3. Trapping him with pregnancy: This used to be the old school method of
getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to seducing the man or
getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had
the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there
was no commitment. Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to
child support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up
their game by involving the parents and you know parents don’t like
scandals…
4. Praying&Fasting:This would presumably be an honourable means of
obtaining a husband but sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities
other than God& other times it becomes a song permanently on repeat…
5. Taking his photograph to Cele church for a prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like a charm…
6. Taking his sperm, hair or personal effects to Baba. Guys disposing of your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea…
7. Outright Jazz! My friends recently gisted me ’bout how a tied up,
live pigeon had been discovered in a friend’s sister-in-law’s box. The
woman confessed to using jazz and said she hadn’t been sure if the guy
would actually propose so she took the necessary precaution…
8. Putting love potion in his food! This is classic and timeless but
shouldn’t it be called a ‘compelling’ potion? Because in this case, love
na by force!
9. Saying YES to a man you despise! A woman has two classes of men
usually on her case. The ‘correct’ guys and the ‘disgos’. The disgos
usually end up as magas or rebounds but many a woman has shocked a
despondent toaster with a sudden ‘Yes’ and men have agreed that truly
there is nothing God cannot do!
10. Proposing to a guy! Yes it does happen… (Who wears the engagement ring?)
11. Toasting a man’s family so they make the decision for him! A friend
complained that a girl he detested had over the months gotten close to
his family. Lavishing on them, cooking for them and basically being
their ‘go-to’ girl and now his mum had put her foot down that he had to
break up with his girlfriend and marry little-miss-went-home-to-mama
depending on how much power the family wields, their word may be final…
12. Asking daddy to get you a husband! If daddy’s a big shot, arranging a
husband for you is usually as easy as pie and some men would sell their
souls for a large chunk of daddy’s money so both parties are happy…
13. Being your man’s maga! Some women believe that when you finally get a
man to be interested in you, spoiling him and overlooking his every
fault would get you into a white gown faster than an okada chased by
LASTMA! Some men don’t mind a woman who houses them, clothes them, feeds
them, gives ‘em pocket money, never gets upset with them even when they
misbehave and cleans up after them with little or no contribution from
them… Living the dream???
14. Giving him unlimited freedom as long as he proposes: “Tell me I’m
number one baby, tell me I’m the future mother of your kids and not
Amina, Bisi or Ngozi!” Women used to wanna be the one AND ONLY in their
man’s life, now being the number one is good enough…
15. Polishing up a low class, barely educated brother in exchange for a
ring! The deal is simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or driver to
night school, you give him language lessons, you take him to buy some
new clothes and deodorant and teach him to call you honey instead of
madam and in exchange, he gets to marry you, share an expensive bedroom
and never worry about his bills ever again!
16. Revamping yourself: Change your ward-robe, lose 20kg, buy a
truckload of brazilian hair, study the karma-sutra, do a vaginoplasty
and change the age on your birth-certificate to read 22. Botox, plastic
surgery, a compulsory gym membership and ‘body magic’ also indicated!
17. Becoming a worker in church! Rumour has it that men go to church to
marry, the same rumour also reveals that ‘Greeters’, ‘Ushers’ and ‘Lead
Soloists’ have the best exposure…praise the Lord!
18. Moving to a new town or part of town so that you are the ‘new girl’.
This always peaks the men’s interest and at the same time you get to
run away from your past and the ‘old maid’ labels! Combine this with
number 16 above and ooh la la!
19. Going for ‘deliverance’ from a spirit husband and sowing a big
‘marriage’ seed in church! Giving your possessions to the poor, giving a
sacrificial offering or just giving one thing to God that would make
you weep…
20. Abandoning your hopes, dreams and ambitions! I’ve heard people say
that women looking for a prince charming live unrealistic dreams,
virgins are old-school, overly educated women are proud, rich women are
not submissive, ambitious women are conceited, women with demanding jobs
won’t have time for their families, women who want a faithful man are
deluded and women who don’t get pregnant before wedlock have something
wrong with their plumbing! So forsake the masters, don’t even dream of a
PhD, quit your job, give away all your money and surely a husband will
come… And if all else fails…
21. Marry a married man! He could be your friend’s husband, your
sister’s husband, your cousin’s husband, your colleague’s husband, even
your mother’s husband if you like! Can you blame these women? The
average guy has commitment phobia or is out to play till he is all spent
before he settles down or is waiting to make his first ’5 million’
before saying ‘I do’. Even a man with no future ambition or class, much
less finances still knows he could have his pick of the best women out
there, once he announces he is looking to settle! The last census showed
a female-dominated demographic with more women per eligible bachelor.
Family and society constantly put the woman in hot water making her
personal successes irrelevant till she bags a man.