1. Get Autoérotic
The bigger the vehicle the more scope there is for séxual adventure, but
if you don’t drive a Bentley have no fear. You’d be surprised at how
well you can get down to it in the most cramped of spaces. So, set the
sat nav for the local lovers lane or secluded parking lot and start
steaming up those windows.
2. Do Some Lengths in the Pool
The water rushes around your genitals, making both of you feel different
and more exciting. The buoyancy allows great thrusting with minimum
effort and orgasm is reached with ease as the water relaxes and soothes.
You can take it slow or re-enact your favorite scene in Showgirls.
Beware as water may kill the natural lube and make entry a little
difficult, but ultimately worth the effort. Aim for a hotel pool after
dark rather than the local Rec centre unless you want a criminal record
for your efforts.
3. The Cinema
It’s what art films were made for, so go really late to a séxy film and
chose a secluded spot. Knowing that no one can see you back there
invites naughtiness. Thing is, can you cope with the shame of being
caught in the beam of a torch wielded by an awkward, acne-ridden
teenager suffering from a bad case of girlfriend envy?
4. Back of a Cab
Why wait ’til you get home? You managed to haul your drunken ásses into a
cab, slip the driver a crisp note and tell him to take the scenic route
as you make full use of the spacious back seat. So long as you can
handle the cabbie getting his kicks as you get yours, fun for all
parties ensues.
5. On a Train
Watch Risky Business for
some foreplayesque inspiration then book two tickets on the A Train to
O. Find a secluded train, wait for the carriage to empty then get frisky
to the gentle swaying motion. Booking a night in a sleeper car is the
less risky option for fulfilling this particular fantasy, but in
essence, you’re still doing it aboard so right on!
6. In Hospital
You’re feeling horny, stuck in hospital with nothing but starched
uniforms and bed baths to entertain you so obviously your idle mind
wanders. Cajole your lover into getting conjugal by pulling the curtain
around your bed and playing naughty nurse or dashing doctor with
whatever instruments are left in your reach. Ooh Matron! Works best in a
ward with coma victims… or horny old men.
7. In a Nightclub
For those times when you’ve met a horny new lover and all that bumping
and grinding has left you both a hot mess, the average nightclub has a
number of options for near-public séx. The washrooms, provided you can
both sneak in to one of the booths, are prime spots for a tempting
splash of orál séx before going home to really explore each other’s
bodies. If you find a booth in a dark corner, a long skirt and an open
fly can disguise all kinds of mischief.
8. On a Boat
Provided you’ve got your sea legs, the motion in the ocean is a
chilled-out aphrodisiác. A small vessel is preferable to the
cross-channel ferry (the bunks are too narrow) and inspires glamorous
movie-style séx. Slowly rocking into the sunset and diving off the side
to cool off afterwards: pure bliss.
9. A Mile High
Defying the laws of physics to get two people in an airline lavatory
truly marks you out as a séxual pro. Positioning is limited but rear
entry is possible and promises a high chance of success. Vírgin Atlantic
has the most spacious toilets and even used to offer a bed for
transatlantic sky-high action, but other airlines are not so sympathetic
to passion. Smile proudly as you walk back to your seat, followed
directly by your blushing paramour.
10. On the Beach
The crashing of waves, stars twinkling above and hot blood coursing
through your veins — what a potion for romance. So drop down and get it
on as you sink into the sand. Take a blanket for maximum comfort, and be
prepared to be scratching sand out of every crevice for the next
fortnight.
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